Facebook is good for very few things. Social networks, in general, are a waste of time. But admittedly, I do enjoy knowing what people are… thinking. Is that how you’d classify the status updates?

Although the quick and dirty read-through’s have been satisfying, what was once a simplified “What are you doing right now?”, has become the mind numbing question of “What is on your mind?”. This new question sounds more like a self-conscious college teen queen type who asks her boyfriend what he’s thinking every time he’s silent for more than
5 minutes.

This is an existential crisis! The old formula was simply a declarative statement: ‘Rob is hungry‘, ‘Rob is listening to the Beatles‘, ‘Rob is no longer submitting status updates via FB, because the new question has triggered his angina‘. So if I am hungry, and asked ‘What’s on my mind?’, do I type ‘grilled cheese sandwich’? Then my status update would read, ‘Rob grilled cheese sandwich.’

If people were honest, the Facebook news feed would consist of either grammatically incorrect, 1-word edicts or a series of uncomfortably intimate affirmations. ‘My girlfriend needs to lose a few pounds‘. ‘Tommy is a jerk‘. ‘Wall outlet‘.

I liked it better when we were all just hungy.